Did you Love me?
by Linxcat
Summary: Teddy visits the memorial at Hogwarts and comes to a terrible conclusion...


Teddy wasn't overly concerned about getting back in. He glanced at the map hanging loosely from his fingers – the curfew was only ten minutes ago. He could get past Filch easily.

The parchment fell from his hand as he dropped to his knees. He lifted a finger, tracing the letters in the stone.

_R E M U S_

His father. Remus Lupin. Harry had told him so much about him – everyone loved him, he was an amazing teacher, loved chocolate...

"Did you love me?" Teddy asked the stone softly.

Harry said he did. He'd even shown him memories in the pensive; meeting him in Grimmauld Place, him holding hands with his mother at the funeral, the day Teddy was born...

But there had been another memory. It lurked at the bottom of the basin like dregs at the end of a cup of tea, and when Harry had been distracted, Teddy had grabbed it.

What he'd seen had shaken him to the core. His father was so _angry_. All because of him. He'd found out that Tonks was pregnant and he didn't want the baby. He didn't want _him_. His father was angry with Harry too, but Teddy wasn't sure why. They argued for a long time whilst Uncle Ron and Aunty Hermione watched in horror. Then Remus Lupin had hexed Harry, sending him flying into a cabinet, and stormed out of the room.

Everything he saw in that one memory contrasted with what they had told him. Uncle Ron and Aunty Hermione had forgotten their gasps of horror, cries of alarm, and told him how wonderful his father was. His father had _hexed_ Harry, his own pupil, and yet Harry still remembered him with a far-off smile and sparkling eyes.

And his mother wasn't any better. She had chosen his father over him. She had left her baby son to go and fight with her husband. Teddy traced the letters of her name with a fingertip.

_N Y M P H A D O R A_

The name was altogether too long for a woman he hardly remembered. His Gran had told him how much she hated it, so everyone just called her Tonks. Then when she married Remus Lupin, she was addressed as Dora.

There was no doubt that she had loved his father. The Daily Prophet had written obituaries for all those who had died in the war, and Harry had saved the one about Remus and Dora. Teddy had found it in his desk and read it with a kind of detached fascination.

It detailed how his parents had met at Order meetings, introduced to each other by his friend and her cousin Sirius Black, and fallen in love. His father had, at first, refused to get together with his mother, but after a year of them both being upset and lonely, he had given in. A mere month later, they got married. A month after that, they had discovered she was pregnant.

The events up to his birth were hazy, and two months after the 'joyous' day, the couple had been killed in battle.

"Did _you_ love me?" he whispered to the grey slab.

He closed his eyes and searched his earliest memories for something that would contradict all these treacherous thoughts, but nothing came.

He felt his morale dropping, eyes drooping, shoulders slumping, as he realised the truth.

No one loved him.

Would anyone notice if, one day, he left?

Harry, his beloved godfather, who had cheered him through the years with stories of his parents, had his own kids now.

Ginny. She'd been the mother he never had, fussing over him, buying him chocolates...

She worked for a sports news team, she had no time for him, she had Harry and James, Al and Lily to worry about now.

His grandmother might be a little upset. But she could always go live with her sister – she had told him she always wanted to make up with Cissy.

Even his own parents had left him. They had dumped him on Andromeda and ran off to fight. What kind of parents were they? They didn't love him.

He gazed up at the sky. It was jet black, like his mood; no stars out tonight.

Suddenly, with a jolt of terror, he realised that it wasn't the sky he was staring up at.

He was staring into the gaping maw of some cloaked creature, which was floating just above his head.

Teddy screamed, scooting backwards on his behind, but the thing still followed him. He felt his strength give out and his arms collapsed, all hope of escape deserting him.

The thing was hovering directly over him now. It bent and Teddy smelt the terrible stench of death on its breath. He felt as if his whole face was being sucked off, all happiness rounded up and hoovered out. He saw flashbacks of Christmases gone by, birthdays, outings...

Something stirred in his head, one last survival instinct that wouldn't give in. He remembered Harry telling him about creatures such as these; they were called dementors, and they sucked all good things out of people. But try as he might, he just couldn't remember how to defeat them. The memory was evading him, dancing just out of his reach...

Teddy closed his eyes. He saw the inside of his head, his memories as a meter, barely anything left.

Inside, he felt hurt. Harry had told him about dementors. But Harry had also told him that the ministry had gotten rid of them.

Then again, Teddy thought, as he grappled with his last few seconds of consciousness, Harry had lied to him about his parents too. They didn't love him...

_He was warm and safe, resting in soft arms._

_"Look at all these photos! We've used up three rolls of film on Teddy alone."_

_"You're a photogenic little thing, aren't you, baby? You could be a model one day."_

_"Not an underwear model, I hope. It would be rather disturbing seeing my son __up in London Square wearing nothing more than __speedos__."_

_He felt vibrations ripple through him as the woman holding him laughed._

_"Maybe not a model then, love. Oh! Look – Remus, he's smiling! Mum, take the camera."_

_Another pair of strong arms wrapped around him. He looked up to see two faces – one pale and heart-shaped, with bright pink hair, the other tired but happy, scarred, with sandy-brown hair._

_"Say 'pygmy-puff'!"_

_He heard a click and a flash of light nearly blinded him as the photo was taken. The woman took the photo from 'mum' and held it up for him to see._

_"Look, Teds, aren't you gorgeous! Remus, we ought to send some copies to Molly, she'd love them." _

_"She's invited us round tomorrow. Better start starving ourselves now; we'll be at least a stone heavier by the time we leave!"_

_He felt the vibrations of laughter again, and then he was being lowered into something soft and comfortable. The woman leant down to kiss him on the forehead. _

_"Night-night, Teddy. We love you."_

_"Always and forever, Teds, don't you forget that."_

The yellow light of the room faded and once again he was outside, the raking hands of unconsciousness grabbing at him as the dementor loomed.

But there was fresh hope inside of him. He snatched his wand from where it had fallen on the grass and with his last ounce of strength, raised it.

_"You've got to think of your happiest memory, Teddy, __then__ yell-"_

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

Silvery light burst from the end of his wand, spilling from the tip and surging towards the dementor. It took the shape of two wolves, which spilt and raced around the creature.

The dementor let out an unearthly scream as it was enveloped with light, before it turned and fled into the sky.

Teddy collapsed, the sheer effort of casting the spell taking its toll. He felt his good feelings slowly return, the wolves nuzzling him gently. He clung to their warmth for as long as he could, then he saw a figure approaching in the distance, and he let the darkness take him.

"Teddy? Teddy?"

His eyes flickered open to reveal the concerned face of his godfather.

"Harry." He croaked. Behind him was Professor McGonagall, the headmistress, and Madame Pomfrey.

"You're very lucky, Ted Lupin, that the dementor left without giving you the kiss! What _were_ you doing out there??" McGonagall demanded.

"Harry," Teddy grasped his godfather's wrist, "Harry, it was them!"

"Who? Teddy, what happened?" Harry gazed at his godson.

"I saw the dementor...and...and I felt like I would never be happy again...then they started talking to me, I was a baby again and...Harry, they saved me!"

"But who, Lupin? You don't mean to say-"

"Teddy," Harry said quietly, "Can you tell me _exactly_ what happened?"

Teddy took a deep breath, "I...I was out at the memorial stone. I was just about to go in for the curfew," he saw McGonagall roll her eyes, "When the dementor came at me. I felt like...like every happy thought was being sucked out of me...and then I remembered...It was my parents! I remembered being a baby and them talking to me...and I did what you said Harry, I said the patronus spell and two wolves came out of my wand and chased the dementor away!"

Professor McGonagall shook her head, "A patronus, Mr Lupin, is extremely advanced magic for a second-year student. I am glad and a little surprised that you managed such a complex spell." She turned to leave, "We must get a cheering spell around that memorial, we can't have dementors coming and picking off the pupils..."

Harry smiled warmly at his godson, "A patronus, Teddy! Well done!"

"It was them, Harry," Teddy whispered, for only his godfather to hear, "They told me they loved me and they saved me!"

"I believe that," he replied, stroking the boy's hair fondly. "Your dad was the one that taught me how to do a patronus, you know. It's his genes coming out in you. Not to mention your mum's bravery in tough situations."

Teddy looked down at his hands, "So I'm really like them?"

"Definitely. And they really love you, even now."

As Harry continued to speak, explaining to Teddy about why his grandmother hadn't come to visit, the boy caught his reflection in a mirror across the hallway. He smiled, his hair a sandy-brown colour, eyes like pools of amber, and his face pale and heart-shaped. Harry's last phrase echoed in his head.

_The really love you, even now._

And for the first time in his life, he honestly believed it.


End file.
